The light lister is mostly used to:
a)-Select and/or change specific light settings in the Max scene.
b)-Identify and delete incompatible/undesired lights in the scene. It is worth clicking the refresh button every time a light is deleted.
If you have a long list of lights but, you just want to see the selected ones displayed, simply enable the, selected lights function.
Instanced lights are often displayed in sets. To select the entire set, simply click on its respective button to the left of the light name.
From each set there is dropdown list with all instanced lights. To view them, simply click on the relevant set.
Most light names, intensity colours, values, tick boxes etc are changeable; even when frozen in the scene.
More tips and Tricks:
Tips & tricks for architectural Visualisation: Part 1
Essential tips & tricks for VRay & mental ray
Creating Customised IES lights
Creating a velvet/suede material